A Great Bunch of Funny Christmas Stories

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A Great Bunch of Funny Christmas Stories

These funny clean Christmas jokes are great for sharing with the family after opening presents!

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A Great Bunch of Funny Christmas Stories

Gather around in a circle with your friends and family. Share the Christmas cheer by telling some funny Christmas stories.

Laughter is the best gift anyone can give. These are my favorites. These funny Christmas stories will warm your heart and may even make your stomach hurt from laughing.

Making new memories is the best part of Christmas, and this collection of stories is a surefire way to do it. Create a few stories of your own this holiday season.
 

Table of Contents

Buy Your Own Gift

A Letter to Santa From Mom

Reindeer's Story at Christmas

Christmas Spirit

A Sign of the Times


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Buy Your Own Gift

Last Christmas, grandpa was feeling his age and found that shopping for Christmas gifts had become too difficult. So he decided to send checks to everyone instead.

In each card he wrote, "Buy your own present!" and mailed them early.

He enjoyed the usual flurry of family festivities, and it was only after the holiday that he noticed that he had received very few cards in return. Puzzled over this, he went into his study, intending to write a couple of his relatives and ask what had happened. It was then, as he cleared off his cluttered desk that he got his answer. Under a stack of papers, he was horrified to find the gift checks which he had forgotten to enclose with the cards.

Click for the free PDF to print!

Christmas Snow Globe Shaker Card Tutorial

A Letter to Santa From Mom

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog. And please don't forget the Playdoh Travel Pack, the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the in-laws' house seem just like mine. If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking downstairs to eat contraband ice cream in his pajamas at midnight.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch a cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always...Mom.

P.S. - One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

Click for the free PDF to print!

Santa's Got Mail Ornament

Reindeer's Story at Christmas

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should have known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Click for the free PDF to print!

Reindeer Washi Wall Art

Christmas Spirit

It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock, 'What are you charged with?'

The prisoner replied, 'Doing my Christmas shopping too early.'

'That's no crime', said the magistrate. 'Just how early were you doing this shopping?'

'Before the shop opened', answered the prisoner.

Click for the free PDF to print!

How to Wrap a Gift with Newspaper

A Sign of the Times

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

All Stories courtesy of www.coolest-holiday-parties.com and www.inspirational-otter.com

Be sure you check out my 5 favorite Christmas songs!

Click for the free PDF to print!

Diy No-Sew Mouse Pad

How to Print the PDF

Printing this is as easy as 1-2-3! If you're not familiar with printing PDFs, here's the step-by-step, along with a few tips.

  1. Click the teal button that says "Click here for the free PDF to print!" Or, just click this link here to download.
  2. Find and open the PDF.

    Pro tip: You may see the download appear at the bottom of your browser window, and you can open it from there. Or check wherever your downloads are set to save to (the Downloads folder is often a default location).
  3. Click the "Print File" button, choose the printer, choose which pages you want to print, choose how many copies you want, make any additional adjustments needed for personal preference, and click the "Print" button.

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What stories do you love to tell around the holidays?

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This is a great book. I started reading thru it and laughed out loud. The letter from a mother to Santa was spot on and took me back many years when I was raising little ones. There are other things in this article that will tickle your funny bone and put a smile on your face.

Money "Buy your own gift" is the best gift I could ever receive. Honestly, I'm no good at the whole gift-giving thing 97% of the time. I have to be really inspired to get the perfect thing. However, letting someone buy their own gift means they end up coming out of the exchange with something they ACTUALLY want instead of something they're going to attempt to return the minute you leave their home. Ah... how I wish more people (particularly in my family) would adopt this method. Do you know how many books I could buy?!

I definitely agree with the advice about buying your own gift. There are always going to be Christmas gifts that are given to you from people with heart-felt intents. However, these gifts may not always resonate with your interests. In these cases, I would do like you said and buy something for yourself.

I have not made this snowman recently, but I used to make them to fit over soup cans. I love the check story. Thank you for the smiles!

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